Guest blogger Liz tells the inspiring story of her son Samuel
This is our journey so far....
We begin in the present as Samuel sums up his educational life to date.
December 2012,
Samuel has said and I quote:
"I failed kindy, I failed pre-school, I failed
primary school, I partially failed high school (got his WACE) but when I got to
uni I didn’t fail anything and got the most important one of the whole lot
worth getting...my degree! I learnt how to fail and keep going really
well, better than some people who passed easily but then couldn’t deal with it
getting harder or even minor failures and they then dropped out...gave
up".
My son turned all these perceived failures into a goal and
success. In his gi-normous struggles
– he
found his strengths, his talent and his resilience.
A quiet and observant child, friends would say to me that he
was an old soul, mature about complex issues but childlike and shy in others.
The first sign….while most 2-4 year olds could remember the button to push to
start the TV he needed to be shown every time.
Primary School 1995-2002
We have a running joke in our family - when I was pregnant
with Samuel I was asked to participate in a long term study about what
influences a baby’s/child/teenagers/adults
health and development throughout life.
So my child has been monitored to this day about every aspect of his
life to date. This study meant regular assessments with the research team. It also meant that when other studies were
being done we were asked to participate in those. The joke - when tensions at home got high I’d jokingly
say “If you are not careful I will sell you for medical experiments!” Samuels
stock answer and diffuser of the situation was “You already have”! Humour got
us through many times when the serious and dare I say competitive people
deflated us.
It was this study participation that started the ball
rolling so to speak. Samuel was not
doing well in Year 1 - fine motor
problems, language problems, reading problems, could not write his name or
remember his age, birthday and address, let alone his home phone number.
Numbers were beyond him. As the stock answer from his teacher and those for the
next 3 years was don’t worry he’s just immature a feeling of foreboding came
over me. Developmental differences are
common but….not until at the research assessment age 5 did the alarms bells
ring. Normally researchers did not tell
parents results of the testing they did except in exceptional situations.
Samuel was an exception. At 5 he had the
vocabulary of a 10 year old. So why the learning and attentional problems? Teacher
when told was non-receptive to the idea that this was the case. I experienced my first patronising
situation….many followed in the coming years, so many that I developed a
pro-active and advocating stance that was formidable at times. At the end of year 1 this very same
teacher said he had not passed required benchmarks, would I consider him
repeating the year. I suggested that an
assessment of his needs and problems might be more worthwhile,
Luck was on my side.
The visiting school educational psychologist was from the Graduate School of Education at UWA,
and an experienced assessor for learning and attentional disorders, Up shot -
repeating the year was going to be of little value as Samuel would still have
the same problems and needed to been seen by a barrage of speech, occupational,
audiological and visual therapists. Assessment, then treatment and management
programs needed to be established and maintained. Schooling needs were
reinforced by teaching them myself. Relationships that previously were normal
became strained as Samuel buckled under the onslaught of all this
remedial-ness.
Four years on …attention getting worse, learning and work
completion not happening. Finally a teacher is assigned to him who has done
postgraduate studies in special needs education, She suggests to about three
parents including us that a referral to a paediatric developmental specialist
may be useful. The other parents chose to ignore her advice. I go directly to
my GP and get a referral to a specialist that altered the course of Samuel’s
future.
As a parent with a "different child" you agonise
about your perceived failures in the most important role of your life. You seek
help and find none available...your aloneness is palpable; other parents become
judgemental and sceptical when labels start getting affixed to your child. They
do not see the hours and hours of extra time and the financial stress, spent
researching, getting assessments, seeking therapists, finding specialists,
obtaining resources for educating what the teachers saw as unteachable and the
resulting strains on the family.
A diagnosis from the specialist and treatment trials began
for Samuel and recommendations to join a support group made an instantaneous
difference to our lives.
The day Samuel topped the class in a science test was so
auspicious that the whole class applauded his efforts! I cried…. I am crying while I write this as
it brings back some painful memories.
I’d like to say that
it got easier for the next two years that he stayed at that school, but while I
still did - the be there every day so the teachers could discuss the day with
me-thing, it was still a struggle for Samuel.
He had lost too many precious years of fundamental learning skills,
especially the mathematics window that closed too early for him. He still had
terrible handwriting skills, spelling was a hit and miss and mental arithmetic
out of bounds. He survived on structure, re-enforcement and a laptop computer
we bought second hand to aid his spelling and writing problems. There were no
aids, tools or teaching support staff on offer from the Education Department at
this time.
Dyspraxia, dyscalculia, mild dyslexia, dysgraphia, short
term memory and processing deficients, visual tracking and processing problems
– I became a walking medical dictionary as I annually conveyed his disorders to
teachers with little or no special needs training.
2003-2008
My husband and I decided that Samuel needed to begin his
high school life at a new school starting in year 7 to allow extra time for
orientation to this transitional phase of his education. It was a decision we
never regretted. We found another
teacher who recognised Samuel’s differences as being unique and nurtured him
throughout his whole time in high school.
Where the school might have put up obstacles this teacher went into bat
for Samuel. He and his wife remain
important friends in our lives.
To cut an even more
convoluted story short. Samuel had always had a goal to go to university.
Developmentally he was 12-18 months behind his peers. I knew it would take an
extra year. However, Samuel was determined to sit TEE exams with his mates –
peer pressure doesn’t help in this age group.
I said do your best, don’t stress, we know the sun comes up the next
day. He sat the exams without any special considerations…. he is enormously
proud that he was not the bottom of the TEE ranking in his school…another boy
was…his sense of humour got him through.
The TEE while not giving him his first career choice did allow him to be
accepted for a University Preparation Course.
This in turn meant he could fall back on his plan B of a visual arts
degree. His only ever one academic recorded A was in his WACE certificate for
Art and Design, a talent that he didn’t see until his portfolio was required
for course acceptance after he completed the UPC.
2009-2012
Samuel has now completed three years without one fail or
repeat of a Bachelors Degree in Contemporary Art Majoring in Visual Art. He
exhibited a piece called
‘Death Stands Before You'
at the recent Graduate Art Exhibition 2012 at ECU. His
artist statement for the piece reads;
“When you look into the void, the void will look back into
you, neither will like what it sees. It is strange how life is only reflected
when gazing upon the demised.” 
He still has not learnt to drive a car but that is his next
goal… that…and get a job…so his parents can take a financial break! The road
ahead will be interesting.
Oh and he promises me that he will buy me an island when he
is rich and famous!
