ADHD and the Great Outdoors

When I was interviewing adults for my Masters thesis, many told me how they love being outdoors. They spoke of their awareness of a need to exercise and be active, both as children and adults. They described an excess of energy that they 'need to burn off'. Consequently, they reported busy, active childhoods, with much time spent outdoors on bicycles and horses. Outdoor sport played a major role in their youth, with some claiming that it was all that got them through school. As adults, they described a restlessness, which is controlled when they are outdoors. Contact with nature is for them, a release from the pressure of their often-chaotic lives. Martin discussed his need to spend time surrounded by Nature as follows:

I just feel more open. I'm not claustrophobic. It's how my mind gets in tune with everything - the energy, the frequency. Who knows what it is? But it makes me feel very comfortable. I zone a lot better.

I'm not about to jump on the beat-up bandwagon and blame a lack of exercise for the existence of ADHD. On the contrary, my Masters thesis bears testimony to the fact that active, fit children can and do grow up to be adults struggling with ADHD. My motivation for writing this article is to remind you that exercise, and spending time outdoors, could make life easier on many fronts.

Dr John Ratey has spent years researching the positive effects of exercise on brain functioning. His book 'Spark' details the benefits of exercise, specifically for that beautiful ADHD Brain, and I would urge you to read it. He also provides a wealth of information on his website www.johnratey.com for those who like to read in short bursts. His message is simple : Exercise helps the brain learn!

A recent study, published in the Journal of Child Health Care Development (Van Den Berg & Van Den Berg, Dec 2010) found that outdoor, natural areas provide a consistent positive environment for children with ADHD. The aim of the study was to gain more insight into the behaviour, as well as the emotional and cognitive functioning of children in both natural and built settings. Two groups of six children who stayed at care farms for children with ADHD in the Netherlands were systematically observed, questioned and tested during visits to wooded areas and a small town. The results of the research showed that both groups performed better on a concentration test in the woods than in the town, despite the fact that all children visited the town after they visited the woods - meaning that their town results were possibly inflated as they were doing the same test for the second time. Behaviour-wise, the children differed. One group of children liked the woods better than the town, and displayed more positive behaviours & feelings in the woods. The other group of children liked the town and the woods equally, and they displayed positive behaviours & feelings in both settings. However, they showed more symptoms of ADHD and aggression in the town than in the woods.

Clearly, more research is needed to establish the effect of the physical environment on both children and adults with ADHD. However, in my opinion, it is important for people to pay attention to their responses in different environments. Where do I feel better? Where do I work better? Does my ideal environment change with the seasons? Become a self-sleuth and note your observations for future reference. Ask a coach to help you explore these options.

My challenge to you - commit to outdoor exercise 3 times per week for a month. See if it makes you feel better? Let me know.

Remember - you have many gifts - learn to make the most of them.

Screening Tool for Adult ADHD

As many people know, the diagnosis of ADHD in Australia is generally based on symptoms listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV-TR). However, the ADHD symptoms listed in the DSM were originally written for children, several decades ago. While the DSM-IV (1994) presented the first set of diagnostic criteria to use wording applicable to adults and children, the criteria have not been validated in adults, and they do not take into account the fact that symptoms such as physical hyperactivity diminish with age. There is concern, therefore, that many adults with ADHD will not meet the diagnostic criteria, and will miss out on vital treatment for this serious condition. It is thought that the list of adult symptoms will be more appropriate when the new DSM-V is published within the next couple of years.

In 2003 the World Health Organisation (WHO) published a screening tool for adult ADHD. It must be stressed that this is not a list of diagnositc criteria. However, it is a helpful tool for helping people determine whether they have ADHD characteristics which can then be further investigated by an ADHD specialist. The Adult Self-Report Scale (ASRS-VI.1) is printed below for your information.

1. How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?


2. How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organisation?


3. How often do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?


4. When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?


5. How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands or feet when you have to sit down for a long time?


6. How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor?


7. How often do you make careless mistakes when you have to work on a boring or difficult project?


8. How often do you have difficulty keeping your attention when you are doing boring or repetitive work?


9. How often do you have difficulty concentrating on what people say to you even when they are speaking to you directly?


10. How often do you misplace or have difficulty finding things at home or at work?


11. How often are you distracted by activity or noise around you?


12. How often do you leave your seat in meetings or other situations in which you are expected to remain seated?


13. How often do you feel restless or fidgety?


14. How often do you have difficulty unwinding and relaxing when you have time to yourself?


15. How often do you find yourself talking too much when you are in social situations?


16. When you're in a conversation, how often do you find yourself finishing the sentences of the people you are talking to before they can finish them themselves?


17. How often do you have difficulty waiting your turn in situations when turn taking is required?


18. How often do you interrupt others when they are busy?

Do any of these symptoms apply to you? Discuss them with your doctor, or give me a call to work out some strategies to deal with them.

Mobile: 0411 067 541

Landline: (08)6142-9456

micheletoner@hotmail.com

The Magic of Christmas

Last week I had 2 interesting conversations about Christmas.

First up I had 12 year old John in tears, having just found out that Santa wasn't a real person. My heart went out to this young chap in his sparkly Santa hat as he told me how sure he was that a reindeer had walked down his passage last year. He told me that the magic had gone out of Christmas for him since he had discovered that his Mum and Dad bought his gifts and was never going to get over the disappointment. He recalled counting the days to Christmas for as long as he could remember, always leaving a carrot for the reindeers & mince pie for Santa on Christmas Eve.

I told him how I insist on playing Santa in our house, even though my children are adults, and I described the hilarity that ensues each year as I try to sneak the presnts under the tree before anybody wakes up. Eventually he started to reframe the magic of Christmas, deciding that he could still 'pretend' to believe in Santa just for the fun of it.

The second conversation was with 13 year old Michael. I loved the way he solemnly informed me that since he came from a family of atheists, he shouldn't have to wait for Christmas Day to get his new i-Pod. He was making a good case about double standards and such things until his mum suggested that as a family of atheists they should scrap Christmas totally and refrain from any gifts or festivities. Not to be outdone, he was quick to suggest that they could celebrate 'Atheistmas' and that they could do so immediately. Although he didn't realise it, he was caught up in the magic of Christmas as well, anticipating the yummy family feast and Christmas concerts, among other Christmas treats.

Different boys with different stories, but both anticipating displays of warmth, love and generosity from their families. Love it or hate it, Christmas is here to stay. Cynics will attribute its popularity to marketing and commercialism. The optimist in me thinks otherwise. As a migrant to Australia I have missed out on 20 family Christmas celebrations. Like many people, I have found some Christmases to be challenging. However, I have discovered that if you reach out, there is always someone who will make challenging times easier. And so we started the Toner tradition of 'Orphan Christmas', where we share our special day with others who are without family. Consequently, have have had Christmas lunches blessed with Jewish, Muslim, Mormon and Buddhist prayers, and we have strayed from traditional turkey and ham to include halal and vegetarian options. With our fellow 'orphans', we have experienced the Magic of Christmas in so many ways.

My wish for everyone is that you all allow yourselves to experience the magic of Christmas, even in some small way. I am very mindful of the fact that this can be a challenging time for many. If that is the case for you, I hope that you are able to reach out and ask for support. Don't be alone at Christmas.

Lessons from my Daughter

Last month my husband and I helped our daughter pack up her flat in Melbourne as she prepares for her return to Perth. She has spent 4 years doing a Bachelor of Dance at the Victorian College of the Arts. I was horrified when my 17 year old asked if she could move across the country to study Dance, as it's not common practice in Australia. I look back over those 4 years now and see that she has grown to be an amazing young woman. And I have to admit that her growth has been mine too. As parents, we like to think that we teach our children so much. In truth, they teach us more. I would like to acknowledge some of the things my daughter has taught me:

Lesson no 1 - Believe in your dreams

Callen decided at the age of 4 that she would be a dancer. I know that many little girls decide to be ballerinas, but she really meant it. There was never any doubt in her mind that she wanted to pursue dance as a profession. Having made that commitment, there was no going back. She has honoured that dream for 17 years.

Lesson no 2 - Be kind to yourself and others

Callen was a maid from the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz Ballet at the age of 8. She rushed out of a rehearsal one afternoon with a bag of beautiful emerald materials, sparkles & ribbons, and asked if we could make her beautiful costume together. I felt embarrassed to say that we would be missing out on this wonderful bonding experience because I can't sew, and she noticed my discomfort. So she took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said calmly: 'Don't worry mum, you have other gifts'. She has stopped me from beating myself up countless times since then.

Lesson no 3 - Pause

I was well trained by my daughter, who was well trained by her teachers. Apparently, in the dance world, 'On time = 10 minutes early'. Throughout my time as a mom's taxi, I was faithfully 'on time', and so we had many 10 minute periods to pause and ponder. Dancers do really scary things on stage, and they need to be be focused in order to do them. Pausing gives them that time to focus. Now I teach my clients to pause!

Lesson no 4 - Deal with dream-doubters

There were many times when people (including me) tried to dissuade her from this dream, but she perfected a stare that would silence dream-doubters from ten paces. People were often taken aback by her fierce determination. For example, the hallowed sports physician who told her that the bones in her big toes were crumbling, and suggested that she find another career, was told in no uncertain terms that she would continue as a contemporary dancer and refrain from dancing on point.

Lesson no 5 - Work your plan

Most people have no idea how much hard work it takes to be a dancer. Callen never missed a dance class or rehearsal unless she was unwell, and she gave up many social engagements in order to meet her training and performing commitments. At high school she danced 25 hrs per week, on top of TEE studies. She missed her Leavers celebrations to rehearse the Sugar Plum Fairy solo. As the workload increased at university, so did her work ethic.

Lesson no 6 - Push through the tough times

Injuries are always a concern for dancers, and Callen had to spend a semester at home rehabilitating an injured knee. When most of her friends were asleep, she would accompany me to the gym each morning at 6am, diligently completing each exercise the physio had prescribed until she was strong again. Through all of her tough times, we were able to support her from a distance only, meaning that she had to draw on every bit of strength she could muster, particularly in the final semester, when many students, Callen included, felt the urge to walk away. She stuck it out and finished her course. I know that I would not have had the strength to do it so tough without my family nearby.

Lesson no 7 - Have clear boundaries

By far the toughest lesson I learned was that I could not fly across the Nullarbor Desert like Supermum in a cape each time my daughter needed support. Believe me, I would have tele-ported myself there a million times if I had been given that choice. However, she was very clear about what I could or could not do to help her. And eventually I learned to support without panicking or rescuing - (well, most of the time).

Lesson no 8 - Celebrate

Dancers traditionally celebrate their opening night. I always marvelled at their ability to drag their exhausted bodies out for a celebratory drink, given what they had put themselves through at rehearsals. Not to mention the remaining performances. It seems to be a necessity - part of the process. And that's what coaches teach their clients!

The next chapter begins for this mother and daughter. Moving home after living independently for 4 years could be an enormous challenge. But I have no doubt that Callen will manage it very well - and she'll teach me to manage this new phase in our relationships with grace, as she has always done. I'm grateful for the lessons my daughter has taught me, and I look forward to learning many more.

Coach Credential - Michele Toner ACC

I have good news to share.

As a coach I'm always encouraging my clients to celebrate their wins, and so I'm celebrating mine here today.

I have achieved the level of Associate Certified Coach (ACC) with the International Coach Federation (ICF).

In order to achieve this, I completed an extensive training course, worked with a mentor coach, and logged a set number of coaching hours. I also had to demonstrate competency in the ICF's core competencies in assessments by 3 experienced coaches.

The credentialing process is very rigorous and time-consuming, but I am delighted that I have completed it, as it sets me apart from other coaches. There are only 6000 ICF-credentialed coaches worldwide!

I am currently working towards my next level of credential with the ICF, and look forward to celebrating that milestone with you sometime next year.

Risk it, go for it

Risk it, go for it
Life always gives you another chance
Another go at it
It's very inportant to take
Enormous Risks
-Mary Quant-

When I was a young girl Mary Quant was a trendsetter of note. She famously named the mini-skirt after her favourite motor car, and designed ever-shorter creations for knock-kneed models like Twiggy. Who could forget her 'hot-pants' outfits and the patterned tights which adorned the very-visible legs of the day?

Mary Quant took many risks, and was highly criticised by many, as a result. As a teenager, growing up in South Africa, I clearly remember various church leaders blaming the drought on Mary Quant's mini skirts. I also remember feeling liberated by her trends, much to my parents' horror, as I showed off my own knock-knees to the world. Mary Quant broke down many barriers. Her clothes transcended class and financial means, as she made fashion accessible to young people. Her designs were androgynous and bold. Thank goodness she was a risk-taker.

As children we all take risks without a second thought. I remember watching my son, who was determined to walk at 10 months. He fell a 100 times, often hurting himself, but he got up 101 times, and he walked. As adults, we become cautious, over-thinking things before we commit to anything. 'Do I dare?' we ask ourselves. 'No I don't', we answer. We miss out on so much, and so does the world, as we stifle our creative urges.

That's where ADHD comes in. Risk-taking comes naturally to many people with ADHD. They retain that childhood sense of adventure. They are prepared to make fools of themselves if it means that they will learn a new skill. They step outside their comfort zones every day. They live in the moment.

And they make the world a better place.

What a Difference a Diagnosis Makes

ADHD Awareness Week starts on Monday 20th September, and will be launched in WA by LADS (The Learning & Attentional Disorders Society of WA). I will be working with LADS to spread the scientific word about ADHD - talking about research which identifies the risks associated with ADHD and the benefits of early diagnosis and treatment.

Unfortunately, ADHD Awareness Week is also used by the anti-ADHD movement to create alarm in the community and circulate sensational stories with no scientific foundation. It is my sincere wish that the WA public will listen to the voice of reason and ignore the fanatical fringe.

On Monday, I will be presenting my research at LADS. I'm calling my talk 'What a Difference a Diagnosis Makes', and I'll be telling stories from the perspectives of children and adults with ADHD. One thing stands out clearly in my research - the earlier the ADHD diagnosis, the better equipped people are to deal with it.

Also on Monday, there will be an expert panel at LADS, consisting of doctors, psychologists, teachers, a speech therapist, and other allied health professionals. Audience members will have the opportunity to ask them any questions about ADHD. Join us please, for an evening of information based on scientific fact, not alarmist nonsense:

When: Monday 20th Sept at 6:30pm
Where: The Niche, cnr Hospital Ave & Aberdare Rd Nedlands, WA

Breaking the Silence

A new Australian report on suicide ('Breaking the Silence') paints a very sad picture, and calls for a national strategy for suicide prevention. Some alarming facts:

• 2200 Australian commit suicide each year. This translates to 7 per day.
• Almost 80% of those who commit suicide in Australia are males.
• It is the leading cause of death for men under 44, and women under 35
• More people die by suicide than from motor vehicle accidents, skin cancer and homicides
• 178 Australian attempt suicide each day, and many require hospitalisation
• In 2007, 31509 Australians were admitted to hospital as a result of self-harm
• The level of direct funding for national suicide prevention is less than $1 per person per year

Suicide and suicide attempts cause immense distress to individuals, and also to the wider community. Colleagues, friends and family members often blame themselves for not seeing the 'danger signs', and wonder what they could have done to prevent such a tragedy. Responses to suicide are also complicated by the accompanying stigma, and the perception of suicide as a failure on the part of the deceased (to cope) or the family (for not intervening or preventing the suicide).

The causes of suicide are complex. However, in reality, almost all people who attempt or complete suicide had one or more warning signs. The vast majority of people who commit suicide have contact with health services. The risk of suicide may be highest when someone is discharged from acute psychiatric care.

This new report list many strategies for governments to implement in order to decrease the risk of suicide amongst Australians. Obviously, much more money should be spent on suicide prevention services. Also, it recommends that the public be educated about mental illness and suicide, in order to reduce stigma in these areas. They recommend an annual budget of $10 million per year for at least five years be spent in order to change public and community attitudes. Let's hope that all politicians and bureaucrats who have some power over government spending take the time to seriously consider this report and all its recommendations.

The full report can be downloaded from:

www.suicidepreventionaust.org

If you need any help, or know anybody else who needs support, contact Lifeline: 13 11 14.

Are you an Adrenaline Addict?

Let's face it, when the dopamine is low people with ADHD sometimes rely on adrenaline to get them through tough situations. Adrenaline is there to give us a jolt of superhuman energy when we find ourselves in danger. Increasingly, people use it to get an exciting rush or high - skydiving and bungy-jumping create adrenaline rushes. Leaving a project or assignment until the last minute also creates the stress requireed to produce adrenaline in our bodies, and that helps us to complete the task - just in time. It is so effective, that many people consciously, or unconsciously use it as a strategy. However, constant adrenaline highs come at a physical and emotional cost. Physically, we are overusing our adrenal gland, and putting stress on the body by regularly circulating adrenaline. We are also harming our emotional wellbeing by creating the stressful situations which cause our body to circulate adrenaline.

CoachU provides the following Adrenaline Self-Test. Many are similar to ADHD symptoms.
How many apply to you:

1. I drink coffee, colas, or other caffeinated beverages in order to get going and keep going
2. I eat sugar to calm myself down
3. I tend to overpromise and then rush to get the project done at the last minute
4. I arrive at work rushed and already 'on'
5. I feel an inner rush or lack of stillness or peace much of the time and I can't get rid of it.
6. I tend to be impatient with the pace or performance of others
7. I often drive 10km per hour or more over the speed limit or tend to tailgate
8. I tend to run late or arrive just in time. After all, why waste time by being early?
9. It often seems that there is a problem, hassle, or difficult situation I'm having to deal with
10. I don't give myself enough time during the day for the things I do know will come up
11. I love a challenge, and pushing through it to reach a solution
12. I get grabbed by surprises or upsetting events and can't calm down for a day or two
13. I find it boring or difficult to simply hang out with people sometimes
14. I am at my best when under pressure, especially deadline pressure
15. Sometimes I wonder if I deliberately set myself up to wait until the last minute
16. I do not arrive at the airport an hour before my flight
17. I carry my mobile phone even when I do not need it
18. Sometimes I think I unconsciously try to find the hardest way of getting something done
19. People sometimes complain that I am not there with them, even though I am
20. I tend to be a driven type of person

Scoring Key:

15-20 You are a certified adrenaline addict
11-14 An unhealthy level of adrenaline is probably coursing through your body
6-10 You have a possible adrenaline problem
0-5 Congratulations! You appear to not have an adrenaline problem.

Coaching can help you design and implement strategies that will make you less reliant on adrenalin to get the job done. With a coach you can identify and eliminate your adrenaline triggers. You will replace adrenaline energy with a natural energy and vitality which will make you more productive than ever before.
Contact me for more information:

Mobile: 0411 067 541
Landline: (08) 6142 9456
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

What I'm grateful for ....

I am so grateful -- The 3D printer went off to the big Engineering Lab in the Sky (make that UWA). For months now it has inhabited our family room - a great big hulk of a wooden framework with lots of moving bits inside. On Monday, as part of its transition to the next life, it moved to the outside patio (thankfully) as the sand component was added -LOTS OF SAND! Now it's gone. Thank you!

Believe it or not, I'm so grateful that I had that 3D printer in my life for a while. It was to be the last in a string of Engineering projects that somehow ended up in our house, bringing wonderful young people with them. Who could forget Warman - Matt, Lorin & Callum pulling countless all-nighters in a row as they constructed a masterpiece - with me feeding them each time they opened their mouths. Each night when I went to bed I sent prayers to whoever might be listening - if you make it work nicely for them I'll be a good person forever. Some days it worked, and some days it didn't. They got what they needed from that project, not what Matt's mum wanted them to get. (They also got dumped for neglecting their girlfriends) After Warman we swore that they would never make another project at our house.

But the 3D printer was special - it was THE THESIS - the culmination of all those years at school and university. And so I grew to love it. What did it make me grateful for?

• the school teachers (few and far between) who recognised a good mathematical brain behind the reluctance to write (Mrs Lloyd, year 4, knew before any of us that he would be an engineer)
• a tertiary system that allows flexible learning, enabling great thinkers to show their best qualities. The world needs people who think outside the box!
• the pictures of Matt huddled over piles of wire on the family room floor, as his brilliant ideas took shape
• the 'design' conversations I heard him sharing with his Dad, even though I didn't understand a word
• the warm chats with his sister in Melbourne as they traded sorry stories about his broken circuits and her strained muscles
• beautiful Mary from across the road (86 going on 26) who allowed him to machine-sew the sandbags he painstakingly cut out and tacked together, and the bunch of daffodils he took her that night
• his absolute determination to achieve his goal of becoming a mechanical engineer.

And so the 3D printer has moved on - still not completed but almost there. Each night when I go to bed, I'll be making all sorts of pacts about being a better person if it works well. Just because that's what I do. But here's the thing -I know that Matt will shine at his thesis presentation regardless of whom I pray to or what I feed him. He can do it all by himself.

And that's what I'm most grateful for. I hope he writes his story one day.

Thank you!

The Stigma of ADHD

A recent study looked at the experiences of parents of children recently diagnosed with ADHD produced the following findings:

• 77% of theose parents experienced stigma as a result of their chid's diagnosis.
• 44% of the parents reported that they were concerned about how society would label their child.
• 40% felt social isolation and rejection
• 21% felt that doctors and teachers dismissed their concerns about their children
• Parents' attitudes to ADHD were treatment were influenced by negative stories in the media, their mistrust of doctors, and the influence of general public views.

There is a need for more public education, and the Health Departments of various states / countires should be driving this. We all know how effective the public's education about depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions has increased awareness, diagnosis, and treatment in those areas. Let's all do our bit to educate the public about ADHD. Contact me if you would like a fact sheet dispelling ADHD Myths.

Michele Toner:
2 / 343 Cambridge St, FLOREAT, Western Austalia, 6014, Australia

Landline: +618 6142 9456
Mobile: +61 (0)411 067 541

Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

http://micheletoner.com

ADHD and The Case for Neurodiversity

A new book by Thomas Armstrong compares the human brain to a rain forest, and suggests that we apply lessons learned about biodiversity and racial diversity to brain differences.
Entitled: Neurodiversity: Discovering the Extraordinary Gifts of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Brain Differences, the book focuses on the 'hidden strengths' of mental illness, describing this as a powerful concept backed by brain research, anthropology and other fields, that can help revolutionize the way we look at mental illness. The author is quick to point out that he has no intention of trivialising mental health issues, and recognises that they involve tremendous hardship, suffering and pain. He also advocates the identification and treatment of mental illness in early childhood, to enable the best outcome. In his view, however, one important aspect of alleviating this hardship is an emphasis on the positive dimensions of people who have traditionally been stigmatized as less than normal.

Thomas asserts that there is no such thing as a 'normal' or standard brain, just as there is no standard plant, or standard cultural or racial group. In fact, diversity among brains is just as wonderfully enriching as biodiversity and the diversity among cultures and races. Instead of viewing brains as disordered, the emphasis in neurodiversity is placed on differences. For example, people with Dyslexia often have minds that visualize clearly in three dimensions. People with ADHD have a different, more diffused attentional style.

Eight principle of neurodiversity are proposed in this book:
1. The human brain works more like an ecosystem than a machine. As with ecosystems, the brain can transform itself. .
2. Human beings and brains exist along a continuum of competence. Knowing that we are all connected to each other on a continuum, just like ecosystems, means we need to have far greater tolerance for those with neurological systems that are different from ours.
3. Human competence is defined by the values of the culture to which you belong. By specifying precisely what human behaviours represent abnormal functioning, society upholds those social values it regards as sacred, and shuns any deviations.
4. Whether you are regarded as disabled or gifted depends largely upon when and where you live. Modern day students with learning disabilities often perform poorly in skills schools value most (reading, writing, maths, test-taking and rule-following), and strongly in things schools value least (art, music, nature, physical skill).
5. Success in life is based upon adapting one's brain to the needs of the surrounding environment. Instead of attempting to adapt neurodiverse brains to suit their environment, we should seek surroundings compatible with their differences.
6. Success in life depends upon modifying your surrounding environment to fit the needs of your unique brain. We are all constantly changing our suroundings to build niches for ourselves. It is possible for neurodiverse individuals to alter their environments to match the needs of their unique brain.
7. Niche construction includes career & lifestyle choices and assistive technologies tailored to the needs of a neurodiverse individual. Choices about lifestyle of career may be among the most critical in determining whether a person suffers as a disordered individual or finds satisfaction in an environment that recognises his strengths
8. Positive niche construction directly modifies the brain, which in turn enhances its ability to adapt to the environment.
Seeing our own inner strengths builds our self-confidence, provides us with courage to pursue our dreams and promotes the development of specific skills that canprovide deep satisfaction in life.

An edited excerpt from the book, which was recently published by Ode Magazine, can be read at: http://www.odemagazine.com/doc/

Michele Toner
2/434 Cambridge St, Floreat 6014, WA, Australia
Landline: +61 (0)8 6142 9456
Mobile: 0411 067 541
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com
http://www.micheletoner.com

Things to work on with your ADHD Coach

Coaching is a relatively new profession, and people often wonder what actually happens in a coaching session. Well, it's simple. The client chooses a goal, or a few goals, and then sets about designing the steps required to achieve the goal(s) within a certain timeframe. Along the journey, the coach keeps the client focused, motivated and accountable.

Here's an example of goals you might choose to work on with your coach:

• Clean out the clutter in my cupboards/ drawers/ garage/ benchtops/ office
• Increase my ability to process more information without becoming overwhelmed
• Establish one delicious habit and do it every day
• Always arrive early and never feel rushed
• Reduce the amount of conflict in my life
• Take charge of my life instead of letting others run it for me.
• Take much more time for me instead of living too much for others
• Reduce adrenalin in my life so I don't burn myself or others out
• Accelerate my personal development
• Find a career I love
• Discover my personal values & orient my life around them
• Put my family first without putting myself second
• Turn my worst weakness into my biggest strength
• Find a better way to motivate myself
• Simplify my life
• Learn how to practice extreme self-care
• Spend less time in the future (or past) and more time enjoying the present
• Stop over-promising and making unreasonable commitments
• Stop smoking completely within three months
• Ask my partner / children to give 3 hours of time per week to release me for something I enjoy
• Create a personal health plan that includes daily exercise
• Learn 5 skills to improve my communication with my partner / children
• Turn my ideas into revenue streams
• Deepen my relationships with my friends
• Get more done but slow the pace at which I'm working
• Find my voice and speak confidently
• Free myself from beliefs
• Shift the paradigm in which I exist
• Come to enjoy change instead of resisting it
• Get the quality rest I need

Contact me if there's a goal or two that you'd absolutely love to achieve.

Mobile: 0411 067 541
Landline: +6 (08) 6142 9456
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com
http://www.micheletoner.com/

I Believe in You: The ADHD Coach Credo

• I believe you have a unique gift to offer in this lifetime, which will bring you joy
• I believe that you are willing to be honest with yourself and with me
• I believe that you can solve any problem you encounter
• I believe that you are capable of far more success than you know
• I believe that you are willing to learn what others are not
• I believe that you are able to commit yourself to mastering your craft
• I believe that you are coachable
• I believe in YOU
• I believe

Copyright Coach U Inc. www.coachu.com

Michele Toner, ADHD Coach
+61 (0)411 067 541
+61 (08) 6142 9456
http://www.micheletoner.com
micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coach - Imperfection is the New Perfect

Many clients come to see me because they have been sent for 'fixing' by their wives, mothers, fathers, friends or even sometimes their children. They bring a litany of complaints compiled by their loved ones and ask me to help them to be perfect so that those close to them can like them better. I always have to disappoint them on that score. Instead of focusing on their faults, I like them to focus on their strengths. Sometimes they can't mention a single positive thing about themselves, as all they see are the faults that are constantly pointed out to them. When we love someone, and when we're worried about their inappropriate behaviours, we sometimes go overboard and won't stop trying to fix them until we think they're perfect.

I'm not making an excuse for inappropriate or hurtful behaviour here. ADHD causes much friction in the household, and much of the coaching work I do focuses on changing my clients' behaviours and habits. But I do always have to guard against the tendency to blame everything that goes wrong in the house on the child or adult with ADHD. I ask wives what it was that first attracted them to their husband with ADHD, and whether those endearing qualities still exist? If they do, we have something strong to work on. There has to be some hope! I ask mums to describe positive qualities in their children, and watch their faces light up as they talk of the wonderful lego creations, drawings, plays and other marvellous creations produced by their less-than-perfect offspring.

What's my point? Let's not forget to celebrate the good while we're weeding out the problems. Two mums, who also happen to be sisters, have started a movement to celebrate imperfection. They call themselves the Shutup Sisters, having written a book called: Shutup About your Perfect Kid!.

I urge you to join their movement, or to start one of your own. Add your celebration of imperfection to this blog, or click on my Facebook Page widget to add your story of imperfection there. You'll find a link to the Shutup Sisters there too.

Coaching can help you to identify your strengths and weaknesses. That, in turn, will make it possible to maximise your strengths and minimise your weaknesses. Yes, with coaching you too can be perfectly imperfect.

Contact me to start telephone or face-to-face coaching:

micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - What Defines You?

Coaches are committed to walking their talk - working on their own personal development as they coach their clients to do the same. That's why we all have coaches too. Last week my coach, Belinda, persuaded me to share this story:

In January I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I like to refer to it as 'mild cancer' as it was detected really early during a routine mammogram. From the start, I chose to treat my diagnosis as good news. Had it not been detected I would have been in trouble. As it turned out, I had 2 minor surgical procedures (which my friends irreverently refer to as 'lobotomies') and a series of radiotherapy treatments. I'm expected to make a full recovery. I also chose not to let my cancer dominate my thoughts. Fortunately I was able to continue working throughout my treatment. Each day I looked forward to working with inspiring people from all walks of life. Unlike me, they face ongoing challenges caused by a condition for which there is no cure. I was filled with admiration for the young girl who told me that she refused to allow ADHD to define her. "I'm not Wendy with ADHD", she said. "I'm Wendy who works and thinks differently, and I deal with that!" Her words reminded me of another inspiring lady I once knew.

I once had the privilege of meeting Linda. She had everything to live for - two talented children and a husband she adored, who in turned doted on her. By the time I met her she was in remission from brain cancer. Shortly after we met, her tumour returned and her husband was diagnosed with lymphoma. They died within 6 months of each other. I never knew Linda prior to her diagnosis. Apparently she was organised and controlled. The woman I met was impulsive, forgetful and often blunt because of her tumour. And of course we got along like a house on fire! From the outside it may have seemed that I was looking after Linda as she prepared for her impending death. In reality, Linda was teaching me about life - and about having fun! During her chemotherapy sessions we'd plan weekends away with hired sports cars and Isadora Duncan scarves. We laughed until our cheeks ached, and our frivolous behaviour attracted many disapproving stares. Did we care? Nuh! Linda told me that she refused to allow cancer to define her life. She consciously chose to be happy even though she was faced with such dreadful hardship. I hoped and prayed that I might be half as strong if I were ever tested as she was.

I think Linda would have approved of how I dealt with my cancer diagnosis and treatment. I refused to put my life on hold, even when my oncologist patiently told me for the tenth time that I would feel less fatigued if I took time off work. How could I explain to her that my work energised and healed me? I had friends to laugh with, and a family on both sides of the Indian Ocean who loved and supported me. So, when I think back on the past months since I received my diagnosis, I think of a lot more than cancer. Here are some achievements:

• coaching people with ADHD every day
• a wonderful week of coach training in Sydney
• a great network of like-minded coaches to support me
• finding a marvellous mentor coach
• handing over the LADS presidency
• visiting my daughter in Melbourne - TWICE
• planning a trip to South Africa for my mum's 80th in September
• moving to the perfect office for coaching
• winning the Cameron prize for best research in UWA's Faculty of Education
• re-designing our kitchen & bathrooms which are about to be renovated
• completing most of the requirements for ACC certification with the International Coach Federation
• having fun with my friends and family
• my husband and I buying a red scooter (which he has forbidden me to drive!)

Now that my treatment has ended I can start the next chapter of my life. Much ADHD coaching will be carried out, and even more fun will be had! And I WILL drive that red scooter.

ADHD Coaching - Invest 10% of your time in maximising the other 90%

A common lament from my clients is: "I just don't have enough time!"
When we brainstorm that concept, clients often find that they could have more time if they worked at it. For example:

• they have lots of unproductive time,
• they spend too much time doing things for other people, leaving none for themselves
• they don't know where their time goes
• they spend a lot of time worrying about what they should be doing with their time.

What's the solution? Well, it's different for each client, but in the words of Nancy Ratey: It takes time to make time. There are many ADHD-friendly ways of making more time. It all starts with a better awareness. Start by taking 5 minutes each night refelcting on what you've done with your day. What could you change?

Contact me of you'd like to work out some ways of claiming back your time. We can work face-to-face or on the phone.

email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

mobile: +61 411 067 541

skype: michele.toner

ADHD Coaching - What are you tolerating?

People have learned to tolerate a lot! They put up with, accept, take on, and are dragged down by people's behaviour, or their own. They tolerate unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, negative attitudes and underachievements.

In Coach World we call these Tolerations (Copyright CoachU Inc).

Tolerations drain our energy. By putting up with them we are distracted from other important things that need our attention. It makes sense, then, to recognise our tolerations and deal with them. Then we can get on with the important things in life.
Sound easy? Well, sometimes it is but other times not.

Why not try it?

1. Take some time to write down a list of things that you know you are tolerating. Some things will come to mind easily, such as the clutter in your family room or the lawn that needs mowingm Others will be harder to pinpoint, like having to do without 'me-time'.
2. Divide your tolerations into three headings: Home, Work/Study, and Family/Community. Try to list 10 under each heading. Notice how some headinsg are easier to fill than others?
3. As you think of more items, add them to your list.

What will you do with this list of Tolerations? Why not work with me to address each and every one. I'm based in Perth, but I 'have Skype, will coach' anywhere in the world.

Contact me for an appointment at:

Landline: (08) 6142-9456

Mobile: +61411067541

email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - How do you know what you need?

Many students with ADHD will be starting University or TAFE for the first time this year. I hope that they will make the commitment to get support from Student Services by registering as a student with special needs. There is often resistance to this step, as many wish to try 'going it alone', and avoid having to disclose their diagnosis. This resistance is brought about, in part, by the difficulty many experience when they attempt to get support for exams from the school Curriculum Councils in Australia who choose not to view ADHD as a learning disability. However, if they work up the courage to register at uni or TAFE, they find a different mindset. ADHD is recognised as a learning disability. Their disclosure remains confidential at all times, and lecturers are only informed if students agree. Students are asked for a letter of confirmation from their treating specialist, and are then asked what accommodations they require.

That's when it becomes difficult. How do you know what you need? In order to request accommodations or support that will make a difference to your academic results, you first need to identify your weaknesses and strengths - in a very specific way. For example, are you able to listen to lecturers and take notes at the same time? Do you know when your most productive period of the day occurs? When are you best able to listen & learn, and what time of day is best for you to revise, tackle assignments or complete class readings? What is the best method for you to study? What challenges do 'group assignments' present? These are some of the questions you need to start asking yourself, and noting the answers in your first weeks at uni or TAFE. Once you've completed your Learning Profile, you're better able to maximise your areas of strength and get support in your areas of weakness.

If you would like some assistance in this area, contact me for a consulation. Also, come to my

Information Session on Saturday 13th Feb, 3:30pm at the Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.

Mobile 0411 067 541

Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

Website: http://www.micheletoner.com/

Remember, people with ADHD make the world a better to place. You are the inventors, discoverers, innovators and artists of the world. We need you.

ADHD Coaching - Are You Starting a TAFE Course Soon?

Many of my clients are going through the final stages of TAFE enrolments at the moment. This can be both an exciting and a daunting process for people with ADHD. Although you're excited about your new course and the thought of making new friends, the fear of the unknown can sometimes cause serious anxiety. So here are my top 3 tips for people with ADHD starting TAFE:

1. Spend some time on the TAFE website. identify student portals where you can download resources, and look for social activities as well.
2. Plan some rehearsals - go to your campus before classes start and get a feel for the building. Find the batchrooms, cafeteria, book shop etc. Find the notice board and check out any activities that interest you. You should also rehearse your public transport route between home and TAFE.
3. Make an appointment to see the Disability Support Officer at your campus. I know that most people with ADHD cringe at the thought, but remember that ADHD is a learning disability, and the support you receive at TAFE will be invaluable. Your meeting will be totally confidential, and nobody else at TAFE need know that you have ADHD. You can speak to the support person about the possibility of recording lectures, using a computer for assessments, and having extra time in exams.

I'm holding an information session for TAFE / Uni students with ADHD. Come along for more help:

Date: Saturday 13th February
Time: 3:30pm
Venue: Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.
Cost: $10 per family, so feel free to bring your partner, mum, dad etc.

For further information, or to book a place, contact me:

Mobile: 0411 067 541
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - Who Needs Back-to-School Ads?

Back to School advertisements are designed to sell school-related merchandise. What they really do is spoil the last month of the school holidays, especially if you're a student with ADHD. Each time you hear the latest never-to-be-repeated offers you are reminded that soon you'll be back in the classroom struggling to understand the academic and/or social curriculum presented to you in a format that is often not ADHD-friendly. This can sometimes cause anxiety before the school year even starts.

Preparing for a new academic year can take some of the stress out of going back to school. In order to do so, you need to identify the stressors so that they can be addressed. You also need to understand the part that symptoms play in creating the misfit between school and many kids with ADHD.

In order to help students to make a good start at school this year, I'm holding an information session in February. It will be tailored for high school students and their parents, but parents of primary school children may also find it helpful. Join me as I give a brief outline of ADHD in the school context, and suggest strategies for dealing with ADHD-related challenges.
Cost is $10 per family, to cover the cost of the venue hire.
Session details:
Date: Saturday 13th February
Time: 1pm to 2:30pm
Venue: Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.
Cost: $10 per family
To register, contact me on 0411 067 541, or micheletoner@hotmail.com
For more information about ADHD and coaching, see my website: http://www.micheletoner.com/

PS - I'll also be holding a session for TAFE and university students on the same day at 3:30pm