ADHD Coaching - What are you tolerating?

People have learned to tolerate a lot! They put up with, accept, take on, and are dragged down by people's behaviour, or their own. They tolerate unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, negative attitudes and underachievements.

In Coach World we call these Tolerations (Copyright CoachU Inc).

Tolerations drain our energy. By putting up with them we are distracted from other important things that need our attention. It makes sense, then, to recognise our tolerations and deal with them. Then we can get on with the important things in life.
Sound easy? Well, sometimes it is but other times not.

Why not try it?

1. Take some time to write down a list of things that you know you are tolerating. Some things will come to mind easily, such as the clutter in your family room or the lawn that needs mowingm Others will be harder to pinpoint, like having to do without 'me-time'.
2. Divide your tolerations into three headings: Home, Work/Study, and Family/Community. Try to list 10 under each heading. Notice how some headinsg are easier to fill than others?
3. As you think of more items, add them to your list.

What will you do with this list of Tolerations? Why not work with me to address each and every one. I'm based in Perth, but I 'have Skype, will coach' anywhere in the world.

Contact me for an appointment at:

Landline: (08) 6142-9456

Mobile: +61411067541

email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - How do you know what you need?

Many students with ADHD will be starting University or TAFE for the first time this year. I hope that they will make the commitment to get support from Student Services by registering as a student with special needs. There is often resistance to this step, as many wish to try 'going it alone', and avoid having to disclose their diagnosis. This resistance is brought about, in part, by the difficulty many experience when they attempt to get support for exams from the school Curriculum Councils in Australia who choose not to view ADHD as a learning disability. However, if they work up the courage to register at uni or TAFE, they find a different mindset. ADHD is recognised as a learning disability. Their disclosure remains confidential at all times, and lecturers are only informed if students agree. Students are asked for a letter of confirmation from their treating specialist, and are then asked what accommodations they require.

That's when it becomes difficult. How do you know what you need? In order to request accommodations or support that will make a difference to your academic results, you first need to identify your weaknesses and strengths - in a very specific way. For example, are you able to listen to lecturers and take notes at the same time? Do you know when your most productive period of the day occurs? When are you best able to listen & learn, and what time of day is best for you to revise, tackle assignments or complete class readings? What is the best method for you to study? What challenges do 'group assignments' present? These are some of the questions you need to start asking yourself, and noting the answers in your first weeks at uni or TAFE. Once you've completed your Learning Profile, you're better able to maximise your areas of strength and get support in your areas of weakness.

If you would like some assistance in this area, contact me for a consulation. Also, come to my

Information Session on Saturday 13th Feb, 3:30pm at the Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.

Mobile 0411 067 541

Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

Website: http://www.micheletoner.com/

Remember, people with ADHD make the world a better to place. You are the inventors, discoverers, innovators and artists of the world. We need you.

ADHD Coaching - Are You Starting a TAFE Course Soon?

Many of my clients are going through the final stages of TAFE enrolments at the moment. This can be both an exciting and a daunting process for people with ADHD. Although you're excited about your new course and the thought of making new friends, the fear of the unknown can sometimes cause serious anxiety. So here are my top 3 tips for people with ADHD starting TAFE:

1. Spend some time on the TAFE website. identify student portals where you can download resources, and look for social activities as well.
2. Plan some rehearsals - go to your campus before classes start and get a feel for the building. Find the batchrooms, cafeteria, book shop etc. Find the notice board and check out any activities that interest you. You should also rehearse your public transport route between home and TAFE.
3. Make an appointment to see the Disability Support Officer at your campus. I know that most people with ADHD cringe at the thought, but remember that ADHD is a learning disability, and the support you receive at TAFE will be invaluable. Your meeting will be totally confidential, and nobody else at TAFE need know that you have ADHD. You can speak to the support person about the possibility of recording lectures, using a computer for assessments, and having extra time in exams.

I'm holding an information session for TAFE / Uni students with ADHD. Come along for more help:

Date: Saturday 13th February
Time: 3:30pm
Venue: Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.
Cost: $10 per family, so feel free to bring your partner, mum, dad etc.

For further information, or to book a place, contact me:

Mobile: 0411 067 541
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - Who Needs Back-to-School Ads?

Back to School advertisements are designed to sell school-related merchandise. What they really do is spoil the last month of the school holidays, especially if you're a student with ADHD. Each time you hear the latest never-to-be-repeated offers you are reminded that soon you'll be back in the classroom struggling to understand the academic and/or social curriculum presented to you in a format that is often not ADHD-friendly. This can sometimes cause anxiety before the school year even starts.

Preparing for a new academic year can take some of the stress out of going back to school. In order to do so, you need to identify the stressors so that they can be addressed. You also need to understand the part that symptoms play in creating the misfit between school and many kids with ADHD.

In order to help students to make a good start at school this year, I'm holding an information session in February. It will be tailored for high school students and their parents, but parents of primary school children may also find it helpful. Join me as I give a brief outline of ADHD in the school context, and suggest strategies for dealing with ADHD-related challenges.
Cost is $10 per family, to cover the cost of the venue hire.
Session details:
Date: Saturday 13th February
Time: 1pm to 2:30pm
Venue: Wollaston Conference Centre, Wollaston Rd, Claremont.
Cost: $10 per family
To register, contact me on 0411 067 541, or micheletoner@hotmail.com
For more information about ADHD and coaching, see my website: http://www.micheletoner.com/

PS - I'll also be holding a session for TAFE and university students on the same day at 3:30pm

ADHD Coaching - Ban New Year's Resolutions

My suggestion for 2010 - make your usual list of New Year's resolutions, then tear the list up and burn it! For some reason this silly ritual of setting ourselves impossible tasks persists year in and year out, and we set ourselves up for failure. I'll never forget a particular New Year's Day about 15 years ago, when my dear friend Wanda gave up coffee, alcohol and cigarettes - cold turkey - all together, simultaneously, and at the same time! I believe that particular New Year's Day was the hottest in Australian history, and we were at a venue without air conditioning. By midday Wanda was swaeting more than everybody put together, and by 3pm she became convinced that she was coming down with the flu. It was obvious to all her friends, if not to her, that the shock of suddenly cutting out all her 'vices' was bringing on some serious side effects. We persuaded her to have a cigarette, or a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine. She opted for all 3, and slowly her side effects subsided. We've laughed about that day for many years. These days Wanda does not smoke at all, and enjoys coffee & wine in moderation. It took her several years to get her '3 worst habits' under control, one at a time.

Learn from Wanda and make small changes in your life, for small changes have huge repercussions eventually. I'm borrowing a mantra that a colleague came up with at a workshop I recently attended:

MY BEST WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD ENOUGH.
That means that my only New Year's Resolution will be to do my best each day. By that I mean that I will try my best to handle the curved balls life throws at me, and not to beat myself up when my results are less than spectacular. For more information see my website: http://www.micheletoner.com/
If you would like me to help you to do your best in 2010, please call me on 0411 067 541, or email me on micheletoner@hotmail.com

ADHD Coaching - Silly Season

This is not called the Silly Season for nothing. Despite our best efforts we can often find ourselves in all sorts of trouble at this time of the year. The other day a psychologist on breakfast TV calmly told the nation that it takes the average family 10 minutes to have their first argument on Christmas Day. Perhaps that is why so many people with ADHD dread it so much. I have been asked the same question many times over the past week: "Any tips for making it through an ADHD-Christmas?" So, here are my top 3:

1. Don't over-commit. Bill Cosby once said: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody". In your attempts to keep everybody happy, you might be tempted to fill your diary with too many Christmas Catch-ups, and end up disappointing friends if you cancel. Instead, choose one day where you invite all your friends to a BYO Christmas Catch-up in a park.
2. Take time out. It's important to schedule some days and/or nights where you just "chill". Burning the candle at both ends can be fun for a while, but it's not possible to maintain a high level of energy output. People with ADHD can crash and burn without warning if they don't rest. It's also important to take little timeouts at functions that might be stressful. For example, if you simply can't bear another minute of your boring brother-in-law, politely excuse yourself and go for a discreet walk around the block.
3. Be kind to yourself. People with ADHD tend to have a long mental list of things to do over the break, and then beat themselves up when they don't get done. Add them to your New Year's list and slowly tackle them in the coming weeks and months.

Remember, Christmas doesn't have to be perfect. It's the mishaps that make days memorable. Relax and enjoy yourself.
If you'd like to see me, phone me on 0411 067 541 for an appointment. See my website for more information: http://www.micheletoner.com

ADHD Coaching - To Tell or not to Tell

The decision to tell or not to tell a friend, lecturer, boss or colleague about a diagnosis of ADHD is never taken lightly. I have been asked countless times for my advice on this issue. Of course, there's never a straight answer. It always depends on the situation, and on the people involved. In Australia, unlike the US, ADHD is not recognised as a disability, although it is supported by Disability Services at universities. This means that in Australia you sometimes have to prove your right to accommodations in the workplace or classroom - a daunting task for someone who is already struggling to cope in their environment. Add to that the stigma associated with ADHD - the majority of society's members view it as a cop-out, poor parenting, unhealthy diet, adults who won't take responsibility for their problems.
So what do you do? Here are my 5 top tips:

1. Look for 1 person you can trust and ask them to be a mentor. Educate them.
   
2. Admit to the symptoms but not the diagnosis
3. Ask for regular feedback and then work behind the scenes with a coach to address any issues raised
   
4. If you're a student - REGISTER WITH DISABILITY SERVICES
   
5. Always remember that if you're feeling unvalued - move on. You will be valued elsewhere.

Feel free to contact me for suggestions specific to your situation:
Email: micheletoner@hotmail.com
Mobile: 0411 067 541
Skype: michele.toner
Website: http://www.micheletoner.com